It's taken me way too long to post this amazing story, but better late than never. Our Bug really was a miracle and took so much work to get there, but this baby's story is just as miraculous. You will know how miraculous this story is by the length of it...it's long, but that's because so much was involved it getting this little Miracle.
The story actually started in January when I knew we needed to start to "Create a Miracle" process with our family and friends. After our failed FET attempt in November of 2009, I had a very strong impression we needed to do family history and take some of our own family names to the temple. I knew if we had our own family names in the temple we would have double the prayers helping us to achieve this miracle.
Shayne & I started taking an 8 week family history class at church and started the process, but we didn't follow through. I knew we would be going through the IVF process around the beginning of June so would need to have names by the end of May to take through the temple, but I didn't have them done. I wasn't even close to having names prepared, and I knew we hadn't done enough to create our miracle, at least not the full extent of it. I was stressed and uneasy and not at all at peace as we started the IVF process. I knew no one would understand why, but I knew. I knew we had not done enough.
On Friday, June 4th at 9:30 at night Doc was able to collect 14 eggs, which is a good number. While we were there collecting eggs, Doc needed to do a trial run with the transferring catheter b/c of the transabdominal cerclage I had to have put in with The Bug. It was very difficult and extremely painful. He was unable to see my cervix and it took almost 35 minutes to locate it and put it in a position, with two different clamps, to properly insert the catheter. Creating this much trauma on the cervix and uterus is not conducive to a smooth transfer of blastocysts. But, we had to deal with what we had.
The day after the collection, Saturday, he called and left a very simple message. All he said was our number was 9! Considering Shayne's medical condition and how much work it takes to fertilize our eggs, 9 was an awesome number. We were so excited. On Monday, June 7th he was able to put all 9 eggs into the blastocyst media, which is a good sign they were all progressing. However, they were a little slow to progress from this point and didn't reach a blastocyst stage until Thursday, June 10th and at that point there were only 2, possibly 3, that were at the blastocyst stage. So, on Thursday, June 10th, Doc transferred 2 of those blastocysts. He again had to use two different clamps to move my cervix in a position that would allow him to insert the catheter and transfer the 2 blastocysts, which was again very painful. Now it was time to just wait.
These are all 9 (maybe 10?) of our fertilized eggs. Arrows are pointing to the two blastocysts we transferred on June 10th.
While waiting we did receive some good news that four more fertilized eggs had progressed to the blastocyst stage and were good enough to freeze for future use.
I was finally able to take a pregnancy test on Friday, June 18th. The test showed a very faint positive pink line...very faint, but it was positive. Later that day I had blood work done at the hospital to determine what my HCG levels were, and they weren't great at only 20 mcg. But there have been successful pregnancies with initial HCG levels this low, so we needed to wait 48 hours and make sure they were doubling. So on Sunday, June 20th, Father's Day, I took another home pregnancy test, and got an even fainter line, if that was even possible. I was not encouraged. I again had bloodwork done that day and the results were not good. My HCG levels had dropped from 20 mcg to 6 mcg. We were not pregnant. I had what was considered a chemical pregnancy, and there is no explanation as to why this happens...it just does.
We were very discouraged, and I was devastated. I had a very hard time with our lack of success, but mostly I was discouraged, b/c I felt I had not done what the Lord had asked me to do. I had not followed through with a very strong and unmistakable prompting to do the family
history. I knew I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. We had 4 more frozen blastocysts and I knew I would make sure I had done my part so there would be no wondering if I could have done more if the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) didn't work.
I wanted to do a transfer almost immediately, but Shayne knew we needed some time. I not only needed some time to deal with this emotionally, but physically all the hormones are not so great for my body. By the time I knew I was ready and we had coordinated with Doc's schedule, we wouldn't be able to do a transfer until September. Which was just enough time to get some family names ready for the temple.
We didn't include as many friends as we had before, b/c it was so hard for me dealing with talking about how it had gone. So, we kept it much quieter and only asked our immediate family to participate in the process. I sent out a pretty forceful email to our family explaining what I needed from them...not what I wanted, but what I truly needed in order to feel like we had done all we could to create this miracle. It wasn't a very tactful email, but I knew I had done what I needed to do.
I knew we would be doing the transfer at the beginning of September, but told no one when the exact date of the transfer would be happening. I didn't want the phone calls wondering how the transfer had gone, if we had taken the pregnancy test, how was every thing going. I could not, at this point, emotionally deal with all the questions. So, we agreed to tell no one when we would be doing the FET. But, we did ask our family to participate in a temple session on August 28th, and I made sure they all knew it had to be at the same time...it had to be, no exceptions, and they all had to have a family name.
I knew it would be hard for everyone to have a name in such short notice, so I called Shayne's Grandma Gerth. They joined the church when Shayne's mom was only 12, so they have lots of family history work to do on that side of the family, and Shayne's grandma has done A LOT! But, she hadn't taken all the names she had found to the temple. So, I asked her to mail me the info she had, and I quickly started working on entering the names into the computer and preparing them for temple work. I was able in about 2 weeks time to prepare about 20 names for the temple. But, we needed to do the initial work of getting the baptisms done first. Luckily enough, (or maybe it wasn't just luck), our ward youth were going to the temple two weeks before we were all going through as a family. Shayne had volunteered to help with the baptisms, so we left The Bug with a friend for a day, and traveled to Anchorage on Saturday, August 14th, and did baptisms for Shayne's family. He baptized me for his female family members, and then he was baptized for his family, in particular his great-grandpa whom he had met when he was 18 years old. It was a very humbling and incredible experience.
I quickly sent the names to both Shayne's family and my family so they would all have a family name to take through the temple. On Saturday, August 28th, at 11am AST, 12pm PST, & 1pm MST, all of our family, who could, was participating in an Endowment session at the exact same time. All for the sole purpose of creating our miracle. What an amazing experience. I was so grateful for our families.
I also knew at that moment, I had done everything I had been asked to do to create our miracle. I knew if it didn't work, it was b/c we were to have children a different way, and I was at peace with everything. Even though our odds of getting pregnant were significantly lower with an FET, I was more at peace than I was in June as we were getting ready for the IVF process. I was more at peace because I knew we had done enough...and that's all I needed to know.
So...with this sort of peace we started the FET process. On Friday, August 27th, we had an ultrasound to make sure everything was progressing the way it should, and while I was there I had a little conversation with Doc...I informed him that before he pulled our blastocysts out to start the thawing process, he had to pray. He had to pray he would do what he needed to do to make sure they thawed successfully. I'm so thankful Doc is a strong faithful member of our church, b/c I could have this conversation and not think twice about it. He kinda chuckled at me, but agreed and promised he would pray before he started.
For our part, we had not only been praying for Doc, but we had been praying our blastocysts would survive the thawing process, and that my body would be healed the way it needed to to accept the transfer.
On Saturday, Sept. 4th, Doc pulled out two of our blastocysts and started the thawing process. He called us at 1pm and said they had initially thawed great and to plan on coming to the office in two hours for a transfer. At 3 pm we showed up and he said they looked better then, than they had when he has put them in the incubator two hours previous...which was miraculous. He had told us he felt like he needed to tweak the thawing process just a little bit, and wasn't sure why he felt like that, or what the results would be, but I'm sure he was prompted by the Spirit.
Now came the more painful part for me...the transfer. Doc was prepared with the two clamps in order to position my cervix correctly for transfer. However, as he started the process, he stopped and just said, "I can see your cervix." I was amazed, questioned what he said, and he repeated it, but then said, "I've never been able to see your cervix, but I can see it now, it's right there." He then proceeded to successfully insert the catheter without using any of the clamps. Incredulous, he instructed me not to move or even breath while he collected the embryos to transfer. He then performed the most perfect transfer I've experienced. I commented on how it didn't cause any pain at all, and he informed me that's the way they are all supposed to be. After the transfer I had to lay there for about 30 minutes and while there Doc commented on how amazed he was at how perfect everything had gone...I simply stated we had more than just science on our side...we had a whole lot more working for us.
The 2 thawed embryos just before Doc transferred them. It's a little fuzzy, but they look perfect!
Now we had to wait...again. But this time, we were both so at peace by the whole process. We felt so positive...it felt like deja vu. We felt the same as we did when were waiting for the results after the transfer when we got pregnant with The Bug. There was just a lot of peace in our home while we had to wait. Not the anxiety like I had in June. It was so different...and so nice.
I was supposed to wait until Sept. 19th to take a pregnancy test, but I knew if we were successful we would be able to take one sooner and know.
So, on Tuesday, Sept. 14th at midnight, while Shayne was at work, I took one of these:
And even though it said to wait for 3 minutes for results...after about 45 seconds it said this:
We were pregnant!!! I left it sitting on Shayne's bedside stand so he would see it as he came to bed that morning after work. Needless to say I couldn't sleep very well. The first thing I did as I climbed into bed was say the most heartfelt prayer of thanks to my Heavenly Father I've said in a very long time.
When Shayne got home that morning, I wasn't asleep even though I pretended to be. I sneakily watched him look at the test, do a double take, and then a triple take as he stared at it. I then opened my eyes and smiled at him. He asked if was an old test...how funny is that?! When I told him it wasn't, that I had taken it the night before, he proceeded to grin from ear to ear. How's the poor man supposed to sleep after that? :)
But, sleep he did. We decided not to tell anyone just yet. I wanted to take another test, and have bloodwork, b/c of the experience we had in June.
So, two days later, Sept. 16th, I took different one of these:
And after about 10 seconds it looked like this:
It was a VERY dark line. There was no mistaking...we were pregnant. But, I still wanted to have the blood work to prove it. So, on Sunday the 19th I had blood drawn and my HCG levels came back at 1758 mcg! That's a huge improvement over 20 mcg, like we had in June. Two days later I did a repeat to make sure it was nearly doubling like it should. On the 21st my HCG levels were 3158! Yup...it was going up the way it was supposed to. We were pregnant!! And with numbers like those, it was possible we could have been pregnant with twins.
Shayne & I decided to wait until we had seen a heartbeat on the ultrasound before we announced to anyone we were pregnant. So, at this point, no one in our family or close friends knew we were pregnant...just our own little family, which I loved. It made me feel just a little more like normal couples who find out they're pregnant, and keep it a secret for awhile...just a little more like normal, not a lot. :)
No one knew except Doc...at church on the 19th he was sitting behind us, and I wrote him a little note that said, "I hope you wrote down that change in thawing protocol...because...IT WORKED!! p.s. keep it under wraps, we aren't telling anyone yet." I gave it to him as sacrament meeting had ended and tons of people were walking past us. He unfolded it as I stood there and read it...got a quizzical look on his face...read it again...then got a huge surprised look with a big grin. I just smiled back at him and as I walked past he gave my arm a squeeze, which I knew was a "Yeah! Congratulations!" squeeze.
Unfortunately, we wouldn't be able to see a heartbeat until I was at least 7 weeks along which was on October 4th...and you can bet we had an appointment on October 4th. So, on Monday, October 4th...exactly a month from the day we did the FET we were able to see this on the ultra sound:
That little "blob" between the two tiny plus signs on the right is a single blob with a beautiful heartbeat. The blob on the other side is the developing placenta. We were definitely pregnant with a single beautiful blob...but that blob had the most beautiful heartbeat I'd seen since we found out we were pregnant with The Bug.
We finally felt like we could announce it to our friends and family, so I made a t-shirt for The Bug that said, "I'm gonna be the big brother". I took pics of him in it and we posted it on our blog and Shayne put it on his Facebook account. I then texted our mother's and told them to check the blog...just to make sure they knew about it the same day as everyone else. Needless to say we got lots and lots of comments and phone calls from our families, who had been waiting (not so patiently) for any news, b/c they didn't even knew if we had done the FET yet. Even though I was suffering from morning sickness, it was a very good day for our family.
9 days after the first ultrasound, I went back in for my official pregnancy physical, b/c Doc was leaving for about a month to do some humanitarian work in Kenya. Of course we did an ultrasound. This time we saw this:
In a matter of about 9 days our little blob had grown a distinguishable head, arms, and legs. How amazing is that?! At that appointment during the physical, Doc made the comment on how he had no idea how were able to have such a smooth transfer, and how we got pregnant. We have so many odds stacked against us, it's amazing we were pregnant. I informed him it wasn't just amazing...it was a miracle...and we both know who was responsible for it. :)
I started getting sick at 6 weeks, and continued to feel horrible until about 15 weeks. I never did throw up from the morning sickness, but there were lots and lots of time I wished I could. I've been much sicker with this pregnancy than with The Bug. I've also suffered from some serious insomnia and much worse restless leg syndrome, which I never did with The Bug. Lots of people inform me it's a sign we are having a girl...but who knows.
I do know The Bug thinks it's a girl. Every time we have an ultra sound...and we've had a few (gotta love Doc and his love of the ultrasound)...The Bug shouts at the screen, "Baby Sister! Baby Sister in the water!!" And when he sees the ultrasound pics at home on the fridge, he will randomly point and say, "Baby Sister. I hold baby sister?" I then have to get them down and he will hold the picture and talk about the baby sister in the water. Won't he be disappointed if it turns out to be a boy? :) Shayne & I could care less what we are having...we are just excited, ecstatic, and overjoyed we are having a baby at all.
We have since had a 12 week ultra sound that Shayne's mom, Jonette, was able to be at on Nov 11th. Here's the 12 week ultrasound pic:
And we had a 15 week ultra sound on Nov. 27th, at the ER one night...one of Shayne's coworkers wanted some practice on the ultrasound machine...and we were happy to oblige. :)
We had our 16 week ultra sound last week, but it wasn't the greatest pic. The baby was hiding behind the placenta and kinda peeking out around it. It amazes me every time we are able to see the baby how much it has grown and looks so much like a baby, and less like an alien. :) In fact, in the 15 week ultrasound, it put it's hand up to it's mouth like it was sucking it's thumb. How cute is that?!
So, while we don't have our miracle baby here yet, and we know there are lots and lots of things that could happen between now and May...we still feel like we have been truly blessed with a miracle.
There were too many things that "worked" for this to not be called an amazing miracle. We thank our Heavenly Father every single day for the blessing of our first Miracle Baby...and now we thank Him for our second Miracle Baby.
